musings and rantings of a blue state non bio mom

the real-life adventures of me, my partner, and our journey through ivf-enabled same sex TWIN motherhood (with not so infrequent rantings about politics in general).

Saturday, March 25, 2006

weekend update

...or should I say weekly update?

Sorry about the hiatus; it's been a hectic week. Since I've last left off we have:

1. met with our OB
2. consulted with prenatal genetics diagnosis counselors
3. made an appointment with the nutritionist recommended by our OB
4. got to the point where Non Bio Mom (that's me) reacquired her jeans and Bio Mom moved on to maternity jeans

First things first.

The OB seems great---not only did she do a thorough exam on Bio Mom but she was also sensitive to the fact that we are in Ultrasound withdrawal and spent a ton of time talking with both of us. Happily, no one at all at the hospital so far has acted in any way other than to suggest that I am also the parent of these future kids. I guess that's in part due to the fact that we are hardly the tip of the gay-by boom in this urban metropolis, but I still appreciate the sensitivity of the hospital staff to this particular issue. Anyway, the OB also seemed sensitive to the multiple nature of this pregnancy and set us up for a meeting with a nutritionist and a cervical length ultrasound (I do hope they film more than the cervix; as alluring as I am sure Bio Mom's cervix is, it's the kids I want to see!). This happens in a couple of weeks, when I hear the kids will be about 5 inches long and weigh a few ounces apiece.

We also heard both heart beats on the doppler during our visit---that was super cool. They were each in the 140s or so and sounded quite distinct from one another, no doubt because one is anterior and one is posterior. The former (I think) sounded more distinct, and the latter more like it was underwater (makes sense since it was blocked by amniotic fluid). But very cool.

Anyway, on Friday, we met with the genetics counselor to talk about testing. All of the blood tests pretty much are out (quad screen, etc) because the levels come back elevated with twins. This leaves the CVS and Amnio options---the former is done a lot earlier than the latter but both take about 2 weeks for results with the lab that Bio Mom's insurance uses. CVS has a 1% chance of resulting in miscarriage, whereas amnio has only a half of a percent chance. Bio Mom is 35 and amnio is considered something to which one should give thought after 35 with a singleton but after 33 wtih twins. I probably would have gone ahead and scheduled an amnio were it my body, but Bio Mom is a bit more hesitant and frankly, in this case, she trumps me (and I am happy with that). However, we agreed that if anything turns up at the 20 week anatomy scan, we should proceed with the amnio.

This, of course, raises several interesting issues, the most important being: What do we do and how do we handle things if there is a problem picked up by the amnio? Bio Mom is not sure how she feels. I am pretty sure how I feel: were we to have one special needs kid (and some of the trisomy possibilities and spina bifida issues reviewed with us seem quite alarming, frankly), my sense is that we would end up not being terribly good parents for either of the kids. One reason, frankly, for CVS is that you find out about some problems a lot earlier than you do with amnio and hence my sense is that qualms about reduction would probably be less distinct than if you are in week 21. But nevertheless, that's where i stand and hopefully we won't have to make any decisions about these sorts of things and everything will be fine. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Speaking of which: our absolutely fantastic next door neighbors (have I expressed how lucky we are to live where we do?) who just had a baby (coming up on three weeks now) had some hard times this week. Mom was bleeding profusely and either because she did not express sufficient urgency or because her doctors were less than on top of things, she ended up with a raging infection. It seems that they never removed all of the placenta. Then, to make things worse, her milk ducts got plugged up and perhaps because of that or because of some other problem, she has a boob infection (one breast is way inflamed, painful, etc and hopefully doesn't contain abcesses). She had fevers from Monday until today that ranged from 102-104 and that the antibiotics she was on were not bringing down. Fortunately, they switched drugs on Thursday and things are beginning to improve, and happily the doctors (who no doubt were nervous about a law suit) pushed to get her back onto the maternity wward so that her baby could be with her. The whole thing was pretty tough, though, even if things are improving at this point.

Anyway, not much else. No time to rant about politics tonight (though I am sure that there is plenty to complain about on that front).

And from now on, I will try to be more faithful!



  • At 2:06 PM, Blogger Dubin said…

    How is it that I haven't heard of the term "gay-by" until now?



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