musings and rantings of a blue state non bio mom

the real-life adventures of me, my partner, and our journey through ivf-enabled same sex TWIN motherhood (with not so infrequent rantings about politics in general).

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Tuesday Morning Musings and Rantings

This morning, I don't have to be up and out early (we have a field trip today and I've engineered it so that I get to stay home and not travel 2.5 hours by train and foot to work, which is, sadly, the normal routine. That should be fun later on when I have to get twins up, fed, dressed, and out of the house...)

Anyhoo, that lets me get to my early morning blog check earlier. And several blog entries today give me pause.

First, there's this: Gay Prevention Programs Hurt Teens

Now, this article on the harm the Gay Prevention wingnut movement does to teens provokes several sentiments in me simultaneously. First, there's outrage. Pure and simple. And pain. And an awful sense of identification with those poor kids. I was raised in an Orthodox Jewish community---my family wasn't terribly religious per se, but all of my friends were and this was the dominant strain at my school. One might even call it an "orthodoxy" were one a sociologist (ha!). Anyway, there was no room for gay or lesbian identity--that was deviant and bad and had to be trained out of you (in fact, years subsequent to graduating high school, I came across an article written by my least favorite teacher, who permanently turned me off to algebra, calc, and other math related subjects, discussing how a gay teen at my yeshivah turned to him and his advice was that the kid get reprogrammed). So my heart goes out for these kids, because they feel totally alone in the world and if they are growing up in a less urban environment than the one in which I live, or if they are situated in a highly religious community, and subject to intolerance on a daily basis, then things are even worse. Even the most urbanized, cool, kid no doubt has trouble dealing with all the new sexual feelings (of whatever inclination) that washes over his or her body for the first time in his or her life. But when this new sexual feeling is directed at an object that's deemed utterly repulsive, and that turns you into a monster who is deviant, then what? Makes the higher gay and lesbian teenage suicide rate seem explicable, but not acceptable.

Second issue this raises, in a totally other direction: what if my kids (MY KIDS!!! MY GOD that's what they are!) end up embracing other kinds of identities that I don't entirely approve of (or openly disapprove of). I remember, some time right around the awful 2004 election, Dan Savage (I think) wrote an op-ed in the NY Times about the likely possibility that gaybies end up becoming Right Wingers. Wow. Don't know how I'll handle that. Any advice?

On an entirely other topic, there's this article on South Dakota's governor banning nearly all abortions and threatening doctors with up to five year sentences should they continue to perform the procedure: South Dakota Governor Bans Most Abortions

On the one hand, it's hard to imagine choosing to abort a fetus once you've actually seen one up close and personal (like yesterday). But the thing of it is this: note my use of the verb "choose." Having a child, or not having a child, is a choice. It's not something that others should legislate for you, one way or another. It should be a woman's decision, and one ideally made along with those close to her--her partner, her family more generally, as long as they are supportive of her. But it's her body (god knows the woman upstairs is going through a whole hell of a lot of uncomfortable somatic changes---peeing, eating, nauseous constantly---because she is carrying around a couple of fetuses). So, no matter what my experience of seeing fetuses waving (and they are not really waving since brain waves haven't quite developed, and even if I can see them they cannot possibly see me since their eyes have yet to develop), my sentiments on this matter are pretty clearcut. Not to mention that, if the right wing gets its way here, guess what: Lesbians won't be able to choose to use ART to get pregnant, either (see Indiana's recent attempts to ban ART for any woman not married to a man who has her husband's consent).

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